Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Panda Bear on Royal Wedding

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Like many women of the world, the Panda Bear saw Britain’s royal wedding and had dreams of becoming royalty.  Only the Panda Bear does not dream of one day becoming Queen of England but Queen of France.  You say there is no Queen of France.   How does the Panda Bear in fantasy become Queen of France?  See below on how the Panda Bear becomes Queen of France in her fantasy.

The Panda Bear wants it known that she does not support the concept of monarchy.  She thinks it reinforces the idea that some people are superior to others.   On her one visit to Great Brittan, she grew to better understand what the USA's founder father's were rebelling against in the British class system.   If she were British probably would be boycotting the wedding because she does not think public money should go to this event .

 However, being a woman in the United States(she has heard that people in the US are more excited about the wedding than they are in Great Britain probably be people in the US are not paying for it), she could not help but pick up some of the excitement of the wedding.   Here is the story of a commoner marrying a prince!!!  It was a hot topic at the Panda Bear's place of work.  

The Panda Bear did her politically correct duty of stating that being a member of the British royal family was probably like being a prisoner in palace.  Their life seems totally controlled and they have no real power.   She said probably the happiest person  would be William if the monarchy was abolished.  

However, the Panda Bear believes if she had played her cards right she could have been royalty.  The Panda Bear discussed her missed opportunity to marry the royalty with a coworker.    (One the coworker thought that it was still not too late for the Panda Bear to become a Queen.   Indeed, upon reflection the Panda Bear recalled two middle-aged and married women who became close to becoming Queen of England in the twentieth century.   Camilla was a married woman when she married Prince Charles.  More significantly, the was America's own Wallis Simpson, who nearly became Queen of England and caused Edward to abdicate as King.    However, the Panda Bear is a happily married woman who does not think it is nice to divorce Mr. Panda even in fantasy.)

The time the Panda Bear believes she lost her chance to marry royalty came when she was in college before she met Mr. Panda.   Like Kate Middleton, there was an actual Prince going to a nearby college when the Panda Bear was in college.   When the Panda Bear was going to Mount Holyoke college, Prince Albert of Monaco was going to Amherst College which was very near Mount Holyoke.  When the Panda Bear was in college it was every woman's dream to meet Prince Albert.  At that time he was very good looking and had very good manners.   Actually, the Panda Bear saw him in person several times.  Once she was in a museum alone in a room with him.  He was sort of looking at her.   Instead of coming up to him and making some conversation with him the Panda Bear got embarrassed and left the room.    It was at that moment that the Panda Bear  believes she blew her chance of marrying royalty.

However, in her fantasy, the Panda Bear speaks to Prince Albert and ends up marrying him.  Once she marries Prince Albert, she leads Monaco on its path to its rightful place as being the main power in Europe.  France is always threatening to take over Monaco.   The Panda Bear would tell the French that they should really become part of Monaco.  She would offer to help other deposed royalty get their kingdoms back.   Now that Europe has no capital punishment she would not have to worry about being executed as previous Queens of France have been.     Once the Panda Bear seizes power she would rule in some combination of the style of Catherine the Great and Elizabeth the First of England.   The Panda Bear would be satisfied in being the dominant power in contenental Europe.   Great Britain could still rule the waves.  As a former US, citizen the Panda Bear would respect the Monroe doctrine and not interfere with USA policy in the Americas.  However, if the French Canadians wished to become part of France she would not stop them.
The more the Panda Bear thinks about it the more appealing it seems to become the Queen of France rather become  the Queen of England.  The French have the superior reputation for elegance and good taste then the English.   All the women in the US feel sorry for the women in England and the funny hats they have to wear.   While Kate Middleton seems like a very nice person, she has had to make her personal and professional life ultra respectable to marry William.  Furthermore, the Panda Bear has read that Kate Middleton worries about William being unfaithful to her.

The Panda Bear has always heard that the French had a different sense of morality that the English.   While France has not had a queen for a long while, she assumes the current First Lady of France would look and act much like the French would expect their Queen to act.   Carla Bruni France’s first lady seems to be very much her own person and does not seem to be in any way a victim.

Thus while others dreams of Kate Middleton, royalty and England, the Panda Bears thinks of Carla Bruni and becoming Queen of France.

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